My inhouse barista had an early appointment this morning so I was on my own for caffeination. My options included braving the La Pavoni espresso machine, spending a few dollars at the local coffee house or digging out the Mr Coffee and brewing up a few cups of morning sunshine. The Pavoni is more involved than I am able to cope with before caffeine (a bitter irony). Being unemployed, I’m avoiding trips to the coffee shop for $3 joe. So it was me and Joe DiMaggio on a ride through the Caffeination Theme Park.
The formula I use for Mr Coffee is two measures of coffee for each cup. Remembering that in Mr Coffee Math 4 cups = 2 cups, I added water to the 4 cup line and put in 8 measures of coffee. That looked like a lot but I like it strong so what the heck.
The thick, burly concoction that came out was heavenly, like unsweetened Turkish coffee. We even had some half and half in the house. I sat listening to disk jockey John Richards on KEXP as the dogs jockeyed for position on the couch beside me. As I neared the end of that first cup, I headed back to my devoted appliance, keeping the java at just the right temperature. Topping off the cup, I was saddened to see that’s all there is. Less than two smallish cups (not humongomugs) when 4 cups were promised.
The Mr Coffee Math
Invest 4 cups of water, 8 measures of coffee – this is your 401(k) contributions and your employer’s match
Switch to brew – this is a matter of trust. Will Mr Coffee yield something wonderful or just a pot of brown water? Will your diligent contributions to your 401(k) pay off with a comfortable retirement?
Yield: 1 3/4 cups – disappointment but at least you got a couple of jolts of caffeine. Now about that 401(k)…
Tom Petty lyrics aside, the end of a project is when it all is beginning. Greenspoke, my environmentally themed short sci fi piece, is entered in several film festivals, including the Seattle International Film Festival. No official selections yet but by early May we’ll start hearing how it is being received by the festival programmers. After spending months and months on a project you want people to see it. And distribute it. And fund that feature you want to produce next.
Speaking of features, there was a delay in judging in the 2009 ReelHeART International Screenplay Competition. Two of my scripts, The Karma Stone and The Smiling Zombie are finalists (as followers of this blog already know). I was amazed and thrilled to have TWO scripts in the running. Out of six finalists, three were chosen as the top three, and will receive a live, rehearsed reading at the festival. Judging was by a prominent agency. Eek! This led to much checking of e-mail, wringing of hands, self doubt and consoling by friends. I sometimes think I am not very competitive but deep down I am. Unfortunately neither script made it into the top three. The festival director was nice enough to call me and let me know.
If you have not participated in ReelHeART (RHIFF) in Toronto, it is a wonderful experience for filmmakers and audiences alike. They treat filmmakers with care, respect and make it fun to boot. My short two julias premiered there last year, winning a Director’s Pick and Honorable Mention. We also got a distribution offer from Toronto-based Ouat! Media. Even if you don’t have anything in the festival, if you are in Toronto there are lots of filmmaker-focused events.
We watched the excellent HBO film Grey Gardens, with great performances by Drew Barrymore and the extraordinary Jessica Lange. For someone who grew up in a working class part of Long Island, the Hamptons and the people who lived there were an abstraction from Life and Look magazines. When the pictures and story broke of Jackie O’s family members living in squalor, it cracked open a fetid world of class and privilege. It wasn’t until many years later that I got around to seeing the 1975 documentary Grey Gardens. Something that the Barrymore/Lange movie glosses over is the generational contempt and almost giddy delight that contemporary audiences took in dwelling on the pathetic, co-dependent mother/daughter relationship. This was not in any way a loving portrait nor was it taken as such. What warmth came out of it was from the strength of the sick bond between this mother and daughter. And the implication that Edie was anything but a cruel joke onstage after her mother passed away is nonsense. The audience was laughing *at* her. The documentary and Edie’s stage career were as much about generational contempt as a comeuppance for the privileged classes.
The same day, I happened to watch the last hour or so of the flawed but gorgeous 2000 Gillian Anderson vehicle, The House of Mirth, written and directed by Terrence Davies from Edith Wharton’s novel. Contrary to what you might think from the title, this is the dark, sad story of Lily Bart, a beautiful society woman who falls from grace through careless handling of finances and romantic attachments similar to the circumstances that ruined young Edie Beale. Lily describes herself in frustration as a “useless woman” because she has never learned any skills to help her take care of herself. The same can be said for both Beale women. Lily became invisible whereas Edie and her mother became the focus of a vicious ridicule that played off their shared desire to be noticed. This feels very much like the negative energy that fuels shows like Britain’s Got Talent and American Idol.
Which brings me to the surprising and wonderful singer, Susan Boyle. I’ve watched that clip many times now, both to see the surprise and delight of the cynical judges and audience and to just watch Susan work. Susan resembles my Great Aunt Doris, who came to visit us on Long Island from Coventry in the early 1970s. I remember my sister trying to do something with Doris’ hair, only to have Doris reach for a tube of Crest toothpaste (thinking it was hair creme) to smoothe it out. She wore similar cotton dresses and was invisible in the same ways that Susan may be in public. Except Susan has that voice, which melts the pent up resentment that the public has toward anyone who wants to move up, to achieve something, to create beauty. And unlike Edie Beale’s performances, noone is laughing at Susan Boyle’s talent and dedication.
Amazon owns IMDB.com and recently purchased withoutabox.com, a great site for managing and submitting your scripts and films to film festivals. Amazon also owns createspace.com, an easy-to-use self-publishing site for books, CDs and DVDs. Like many filmmakers starting out, I cussed and complained about how difficult it was to get my short film projects onto the go-to source for all things film, IMDB.com. The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) had very selective criteria for adding a title. The eligibility rules are still the same but a few new loopholes have been added to help synchronize the corporate synergies and to help you get your film out there.
As I was working on my festival submissions for Greenspoke on withoutabox.com, I noticed some new options popping up after the Amazon purchase of the site. You could set up a createspace DVD print-on demand account that was tied to your withoutabox account. Cool. If you’re not into burning a DVD yourself for every festival submission, you can pay a bit and have them do it for you. This also makes your title available on Amazon.com. Because of the fees that createspace and Amazon take from your DVD sales, it is extremely difficult to set a realistic price point for a short film DVD. Your 10 minute short is going to run close to $10 and you won’t see a dime of that. Jack up the price and you are pricing your product higher than what people expect to pay. It is still nice to have your film on Amazon as a promotional aid. You also meet one of the eligibility criteria for inclusion in IMDB by making your title available on Amazon.com. Your film could be 10 minutes of your cat sleeping, never show in any theatre or on television, not include any known actors or actresses, and it would be eligible for inclusion in what is supposed the definitive internet movie reference.
But wait – there really is more. Withoutabox recently added a group of partner festivals that make your film eligible for inclusion on IMDB. Sounds great except all you have to do is submit your film and pay the fee. You don’t have to be accepted to the festival or meet any other criteria. As long as you take the time out to fill in the confusing submission form on IMDB and enter the code you get from withoutbox, you’re good to go. Again, your 10 minutes of kitty zz’s is listed alongside Citizen Kane, Sunrise and Watchmen. I received at least 5 e-mails from withoutabox about getting Greenspoke on IMDB, most after I already had a page, because I had submitted to one of their partner festivals. While I hope to be accepted at all of them, that doesn’t seem to matter to IMDB.
Why am I complaining about this when it is working to my advantage? Because it is a short-term advantage. IMDB will lose its cachet as an authoritative reference if it gets clogged with titles that never were or never will be seen or sold. The internet is already a jungle of unreliable and misleading information for the intrepid entertainment traveler. Audiences drive our creative activities regardless of whether we create arthouse or megaplex fare. Tools like IMDB help us reach our audience. I’d like to keep it as an authoritative reference for them and for us.