A gentleman named Brian called me on my cell after seeing my resume on Monster.com.  Unsolicited Monster calls are generally pretty useless – agencies that want to take your money for jobs that you could easily locate yourself online. It sounded like a cool opportunity – screenwriter for a charitable foundation’s feature. He wasn’t clear about what the mission of the foundation was other than it goes around the world and helps people. He wasn’t clear on the phone whether they wanted to do a documentary or a narrative piece – he said they wanted to create a “new genre”. They also said they had a full-time video editor position. Two of my favorite things to do and they would pay me.

For those of you who don’t know this already, Monster.com is probably the last place a serious film producer would go looking for a screenwriter. I knew that and hoped that maybe this was an exception.

Brian told me to come in the next day at 7 a.m. In the morning. Really. On the other side of the lake. I did some very preliminary research about the company and foundation and didn’t find much. It seemed worth a shot so I got my lazy butt out of bed and was there 15 minutes early.

The office was nice – right on Lake Washington, dogs in the office, nice people at the door. Oddly, someone was playing Christmas music at their desk at 6:45 in the morning. 6:45 is too early for Christmas music on Christmas Day, much less October 14.

Brian looked exactly like he sounded on the phone – military-style haircut, shirt and tie. He brought me back to a conference room with photos of unfortunately still-President Bush in grip and grin poses with what looked like a company executive. This didn’t phase me too much – the company that sponsors the foundation makes portable shelters that are used by the military, oil industry and in disaster areas. Brian asked me the same questions he had asked over the phone while we waited for the other interviewers – he obviously had a script to follow as all good interviewers do.

An older gentleman and a young woman came in, questions started, other people came and went and came back. The older gentleman shook my hand but barely touched it. Three of the interviewers asked me questions about what charities I supported and what I would be willing to do to support a charity. I tend to be a ‘write a check often’ kind of guy rather than a volunteer, and told them so. They asked questions about how long it would take to write a script and how long different scripts of mine had taken. We talked about finding the story in their footage (they have already shot 1000 hours of footage with no script and apparently no plan). I talked about making it something that people could relate to – finding compelling characters and situations that illustrated their point. Tried again in vain to find out what that point was.

The person they all looked at when I said I wanted to know more about the foundation repeated almost word-for-word what Brian had said on the phone – they go around the world and help people. This was in response to a direct question as to the mission of the foundation. She went on to criticize UNICEF and other NGOs because they are just taking money and not helping anyone. This was a little surprising – this tiny foundation that doesn’t even have a Web site is the only one out there helping people? Brian went back to Doctors Without Borders as one that they think doesn’t do anything. Huh. When it came time for me to leave, they asked me on a 1-10 if I was interested in the job, with 10 being ‘hire me now’. I told them an 8 (I do love the video) because I wanted to know more about the foundation and to research what they were saying about Doctors Without Borders and UNICEF. Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, I thanked them and left.

After I got home, I did a little more digging on Google, and figured out that the foundation name was the initials of the company CEO who created the foundation. Still with me? More research revealed that he was a heavy donor to the Republican party and the foundation (or one with the same name) had been reported to be a donor to Focus on the Family. Sigh. I sent an e-mail to Brian and let him know I was no longer interested and why. This prompted an e-mail from Erik (who may have been at my interview – people come and go so quickly there) denying the connection to Focus on the Family.

I would pursue this further except that I have never gotten a straight answer about what their foundation does, or what the ‘blockbuster’ movie they want to make is about. I’m taking my public resume off Monster. And when I finally get a job, I’ll be making donations to UNICEF and Doctors Without Borders.

Washington Ensemble Theatre is a theatre-lover’s WET dream. Sorry. I couldn’t resist.  God’s Ear spins Albee-esque words upon words in a dizzying outward spiral of immense sorrow and dark humor.

Michael Place and Mary Bliss Mathers play grieving parents desperately looking for someone to blame for the death of their son. Their performances shine and sizzle and move as their words seek new targets and avoid old and new hurts. Mikano Fukaya plays their joyful and wise surviving child with a bittersweet abandon and razor-sharp focus. Her wide eyes see everything.

The supporting cast fills out the piece with dark comedy and seductive ramblings. Sophisticated lighting and set design beautifully set the mood and at times become players themselves.

God’s Ear
By Jenny Schwartz
Directed by Roger Benington
Oct. 10-Nov. 10, 2008: Thursday-Monday at 8pm
Washington Ensemble Theatre

I’m a news hound. Mostly online stuff but I also watch The News Hour on PBS. The other night I was watching and they went from one bad story to another about the world financial situation. And I changed the channel. I couldn’t take any more. After thinking about it, it occurred to me that I must be feeling guilty. Because it is all my fault.

Thirteen years ago, I left my underpaid state job, took a pay cut and went to work in an entry level job for a software company (no, not that one). Within a few years, I was leading a team and had tripled my meager salary. We even were able to buy a house (well, the bank let us buy it). The company started having financial problems, and several layoffs in I was out on the street with thousands of other tech industry workers who lost their jobs when the tech bubble burst.

From the tech world I moved to the more stable financial services world. They matched my salary but it was still a pay cut because I was not eligible for the same bonus amounts. I was fine with that. I built a team, defined a direction, got re-orged around several times and survived several layoffs. Then the company started having serious financial problems and I was out on the street with thousands of other financial industry workers who lost their jobs when the financial services bubble burst.

So why do I feel guilty? Because this must be my fault. I was in my tech job a little over six years and the bubble burst, then in my financial services job a little over six years and the bubble burst, imploded and threw up on my shoes. There’s a pattern, right? The management in both industries repeatedly said they failed because of market conditions – it wasn’t their fault. They couldn’t possibly be responsible for driving their companies and the economy into the ground, right? It must be market conditions like they say. What if I’m a market condition? It all adds up. This is all my fault.

So to my next employer – mark your calendar to lay me off before 6 years have past – or it will be your fault next time.

My recent trip to Shriekfest was supposed to be about networking with other filmmakers, producers and potential investors. While I did do some networking (and gnoshing) with fellow filmmakers Paul Yoo, William Lu and David Shin, I felt like a fish out of water at the two Shriekfest screenings I attended. After some reflection, I’ve come to these conclusions to make my next outing more productive:

1. Plan ahead – what are you trying to accomplish on this trip? Have you done your research and legwork to make sure you connect with the people who can help you?
2. Be prepared – a variation on #1. Do you have your pitch ready? If you have 2 minutes of a producer’s time, will your glorious script grab their attention or will they wish you luck and move on?
3. Choose the right festivals – if a festival is focused on a specific genre – do you work in that genre? Are you enthusiastic about it? When you watch the films at a particular festival, how would you feel about your work in juxtaposition to the other films you are seeing?
4. Be open to speaking to people who may not be in a position to help now. I’ve learned so much from other people who are also starting out. We’re dealing with the same issues – commiserate, encourage and stay in touch. When you have a time when you are feeling a little overwhelmed or discouraged, these are the people who can help you understand that it is not you it is just the way this highly competitive business works.
5. Be honest with yourself about your work – if you are having trouble explaining a script to someone else, is there a problem with the script? We get close to the work we do and can turn a blind eye to glaring problems in the concept or execution. A great story should be easy for you to pitch enthusiastically.
6. Have fun – you don’t do this for the money – at least not yet anyway. Enjoy the cast of characters you meet from writers to actors to producers to directors to film lovers.
7. Celebrate your own victories – finishing a script is a major accomplishment. So many people out there are talking about being a writer or a filmmaker. Sitting down and DOING the work to get there is something to be proud of.

I was beat last night and skipped opening night of Shriekfest. I did head out today (Saturday) to see the first set of shorts and I finally got to meet the heart and soul of Shriekfest, Denise Gossett. The venue is gorgeous – the screening room at the Raleigh Studios (formerly the Chaplin Studios). Comfy seating for 170, full size screen and across the street from Paramount. I had to sign in at the gate and get a daily visitor pass (which I forgot to return). The Closer is filmed at Raleigh – how do I know? It was painted on the concrete parking space stops, so it must be true.

Standout shorts included:

The Procedure – a cash-hungry man gets a job that becomes more and more frightening. The ending is unexpected and totally satisfying. A great script well-executed. Literally.

Side Effect – nicely realized script with a few surprises. An overworked baby sitter takes a drug to help her get more done. It does.

After the shorts came Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown, which chronicles the peculiar, troubled life of horror writer H.P. Lovecraft. The film includes interviews with Guillermo del Toro and John Carpenter and several current writers. It is at once entertaining and intellectual, finding the humor and humanity of Lovecraft amidst the bizarre world he created. I especially liked the discussion about the impact that such a strong imaginative vision can have on some people, creating something akin to a new religion. This film is accessible enough that people who may not be fans or even aware of Lovecraft can still enjoy learning about the artist’s journey.

If you’re a horror or sci-fi fan in Los Angeles, Shriekfest is definitely worth checking out. Screenings continue today and through Sunday. You can buy tickets at the door and get to meet some interesting people like feature screenplay finalists (each with two scripts!) Tom Manning and fellow ReelHeART 2008 alum Diana Kemp-Jones.

I came to Los Angeles to attend the Shriekfest Horror and Sci Fi Film Festival. My short sci fi script, Greenspoke, is a semi-finalist in the short screenplay competition. Even though I didn’t make it to the finals, I thought this would be a good opportunity to meet some other filmmakers and possible agents who can help me get my two feature length scripts produced. Last night was the opening night party. Those of you who know me know I am not exactly a party animal – two drinks and I’m asleep. I never got the chance to test that reaction last night.

My good friend and collaborator Paul Yoo agreed to be my wing man, but he had to work late. I misread the start time of the party – for some reason I thought it kicked off at 9:30 but it actually started at 7. Once I realized that, I checked the bus schedule and found that I could pretty easily zip down there by bus. Paul could meet me there, I’d have a chance to meet festival director Denise Gossett and still have plenty of time to catch up with Paul as we stepped over drunken filmmakers.

The bus is supposed to run every 15-20 minutes at that time of night. I was out there for quite a while, with a couple of dozen other people. There was an actor reviewing a script, a crack head screaming at someone for looking at him, a drunk middle aged woman who stepped out into Santa Monica Blvd traffic (she made it across) but mostly blue collar people who looked like they had just gotten off work. We all piled into the already full bus. I made my way to the back only to realize that I couldn’t see the street signs and the driver wasn’t calling the streets off, so I worked my way back to the front so I could see. Got off at Fairfax as the directions stated, walked around looking for the address or the name of the club. Walked alot. Saw a place it might have been but the address was wrong. I asked a guy at the French Quarter if he had heard of the club. Nope. This was one of those moments when getting an iPhone actually seemed to make sense. Looked for a phone book. No luck. Figured I’d head back to the hotel and check my info, and Paul could meet me there after he finished work. Then we could head over together.

I had to walk a couple of blocks to get the bus going back from West Hollywood to my hotel. The stop was in front of the Studs theater and across from The Pleasure Chest. A car slowed down as the driver looked at me – was he puzzled that I was waiting for a bus? Looking for a good time? Did I look like his long lost prison cellmate? Don’t know. Don’t care – thankfully he kept driving. After what seemed like an eternity, the bus finally arrived, again packed to the gills. At each stop, more people crammed into the bus. A gentleman stood beside me and started to make small talk, then proceeded to tell me what he had just seen at the sex club he was at and started asking me what I liked to do. I laughed at first, which was unfortunate because it seemed to encourage him. Finally I told him he was making me uncomfortable, which got to the gay, bi or straight question. I told him I was straight even though I am in a 19 year relationship with a man. Seemed easier, except then he started on how crazy some of the women are in LA, and well, you get the idea. Paul saved me for a few moments with a phone call – we arranged to meet at my hotel lobby and try to find this club. My bus buddy got off the bus shortly thereafter, making another pitch in my ear on his way out.

Paul’s smarty pants phone couldn’t find the club either. I checked the address on the festival site – I did have the numbers slightly off but I would have walked right past it. We decided to go to the hotel bar, which we didn’t know was hosting a USC stand-up comedian event. We sat in the back and talked films and acting and work while the comedians worked their magic on their alum buddies. When the bar closed we went up to the lobby and talked more. It was a good day that didn’t go as planned.